Marriage=Good;Marriage to God=Best

I have continued my reading of “Of Holy Virginity” by Saint Augustine. In paragraph eighteen he is talking to those who have made commitments to perpetual virginity that they see their path, as Saint Paul did, as higher than marriage, which is itself good. Marriage is good, and virginity for the sake of the Kingdom of God is better. In my words I say: Marriage to a human person is good, and marriage to God is the best.

“Wherefore I admonish both men and women who follow after perpetual continence and holy virginity, that they so set their own good before marriage, as that they judge not marriage an evil: and that they understand that it was in no way of deceit, but of plain truth that it was said by the Apostle, ‘Whoso gives in marriage does well; and whoso gives not in marriage, does better; and, if thou shalt have taken a wife, thou hast not sinned; and, if a virgin shall have been married, she sinneth not;’ and a little after, ‘But she wilt be more blessed, if she shall have continued so, according to my judgment.’ And, that the judgment should not be thought human, he adds, ‘But I think I also have the Spirit of God’.” (18)

In the next paragraph Saint Augustine combats the two extremes: one, to say marriage is bad, and two, that marriage and virginity for God are equal. “For whereas both are errors, either to equal marriage to holy virginity, or to condemn it: by fleeing from one another to excess, these two errors come into open collision, in that they have been unwilling to hold the mean of truth: whereby, both by sure reason and authority of holy Scriptures, we both discover that marriage is not a sin, and yet equal it not to the good either of virginal or even of widowed chastity. Some forsooth by aiming at virginity, have thought marriage hateful even as adultery: but others, by defending marriage, would have the excellence of perpetual continence to deserve nothing more than married chastity….” (19)

A bit further on, the saint again addresses virgins encouraging them to love God in their particular manner, to love God more: “Therefore go on, Saints of God, boys and girls, males and females, unmarried men, and women; go on and persevere unto the end. Praise more sweetly the Lord, Whom ye think on more richly: hope more happily in Him, Whom ye serve more instantly: love more ardently Him, whom ye please more attentively. With loins girded, and lamps burning, wait for the Lord, when He cometh from the marriage. Ye shall bring unto the marriage of the Lamb a new song, which ye shall sing on your harps. Not surely such as the whole earth singeth, unto which it is said, ‘Sing unto the Lord a new song; sing unto the Lord, the whole earth’: but such as no one shall be able to utter but you.” (27) The virgin should have a special love for God, a special love for the heavenly Bridegroom.

Where does that leave me, a married man who seeks to follow Christ? How can I perfectly follow one who was a virgin? “Therefore let the rest of the faithful, who have lost virginity, follow the Lamb, not whithersoever He shall have gone, but so far as ever they shall have been able. But they are able every where, save when He walks in the grace of virginity.” (28) I can follow Christ in all things save virginity; I have a beautiful song of praise I can sing for my Lord. The virgin has a different and better song of praise that only a virgin can sing, and I am happy that they have that special song of praise to offer God. We each offer our own songs as we each follow our own callings from God. We have an equality with each other as different parts of the body are all a part of one body; yet some parts are more exalted than others, and we need all the parts to make a body.

Paul says it well in 1 Corinthians 12:14-26: For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the organs in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single organ, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body which seem to be weaker are indispensable, and those parts of the body which we think less honorable we invest with the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving the greater honor to the inferior part, that there may be no discord in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

Everyone, married or virgin, is called to marriage with God. The virgin for the sake of the Kingdom lives that marriage to God in a particularly immediate way, but we are all called to that divine intimacy through deep prayer.

Thanks for reading and your prayers.
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